


Faking It

by mynameispiaivy



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: M/M, just pure fluff y’all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 08:14:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21335062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mynameispiaivy/pseuds/mynameispiaivy
Summary: a one shot based on the podcast interview of Whitney Cummings with Daniel Levy. They were talking about past relationships, red flags and well.. i got an idea.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 6
Kudos: 106





	Faking It

He’s done. David doesn't even know why he agreed on going to this date. Twyla’s cousin Teresa, who works as a bartender at the Wobbly Elm, has got her former roommate Greg, who moved from Schitt’s Creek to Oregon two years ago, had now decided to go back to Schitt’s Creek, and who happens to be recently single, was trying to meet, and probably hook up with people. People who are like him... Gay. But was he really gay? Is that how people perceived him to be? Not many people really understand what pansexuality is. The only people who he had talked about it was his family and Stevie. But Twyla, bless her sweet heart, decided upon herself to arrange this blind date with Greg. She said, well her cousin said to her that Greg is a fun guy, that he’s down with anything. _Yeah, fun._ The fun part went down the drain the moment Greg opened his mouth and started telling his tales about his adventures in Oregon. And how much sex he’s had there. 

David should’ve just left when he noticed Greg’s eyes raking his body like he is some sort of prey and would eat him whole once he’s got him locked inside a room, or probably an empty stall in the men’s restroom, if he wasn’t picky about it.

David started laughing, even if Greg didn’t remotely say anything amusing. He even surprised himself with the bark-like sound escaping his lips. Greg on his part was oblivious of it, even laughing along with him, like he did actually said something funny and David got it. _ Yeah_. David definitely got it. He got it loud and clear that this was a mistake. 

“Uhm, yeah... Greg. I think it’s time for me to go.”

“What? Why? We’re having such a good time. C’mon David, I’ll order you another drink. You want another margarita?”

“No, that won’t be necessary. I have an early day tomorrow. This has been fun tho’.” David started to stand up when Greg suddenly grabbed his hand.

“We can have more fun somewhere, you know. I mean, I won’t take that long, David. I’ll be quick. ”

“Excuse me?”

“I have my car outside. We can like chill out a bit and.. ” Greg placed David’s hand on top of his lap, thighs parting a few inches.

David yanked his hands away from his grip, hitting the side of his wrist to the table. He shook his hand then abruptly stands up, pushing back his chair hard. A screeching sound can be heard all throughout the bar.

“You know what, I'm going to say no tonight. Or better yet, I’m going to say never.”

Without looking at the pompous human in front of him, he took out a few bills from his wallet and dropped it on top of the table then walked out. David didn’t look back when he heard his name being called. He didn’t even flinch when Greg shouted “You don’t even look like a good lay anyway.”

_Ugh._

The moment the cool breeze of the night hits his face as he opened the door of the club, he felt relieved. _ Free. _ Like he felt some sort of epiphany there somewhere. Probably a few years ago, he would’ve succumb to this, the desperate need for some validation. Pretty faces, beautiful and lean physiques, easy lay, forgettable people that would only scratch the itch that has been creeping his body of late. He doesn’t even know that there was an apparent need for it. A somewhat sudden desire of a warm body on him, or under him. David had almost forgotten about this. He honestly thought he was okay with being alone, of just him maneuvering through his new life. David has got his family. This is the first time in years that they have become this unit. All of them working to find their own niche in the community they lived in. They’ve formed connections with people that he never thought would be possible. He finds it silly to be honest. How this small town embraced them and treated them as family. David smiled. Yes, he can confidently say, he’s found a friend in Schitt’s creek. And right now, he’s got to call her.

“Stevie, can you pick me up?”

“Oh, no hello Stevie, are you busy? are you doing something? did I just wake you up from your nap? did I miraculously became your chauffeur overnight, David?

“I need you.”

“Was it that bad?” He heard some shuffling from Stevie’s end. “Okay fine. I’ll pick you up.”

“I didn't even tell you where I am?”

“Who are we kidding, David. You’re obviously at the Wobbly Elm. That is the only pub in town.”

He huffs, “Yeah. You’ll be here in fifteen?”

“Make it ten. I’m hungry, you’re getting me pancakes at the Cafe.”

“At seven forty five in the evening?”

“We still have time. The Cafe doesn’t close til’ eight. I’m gonna pick up a bottle of wine on my way. I see the lights in your store is still on. Patrick’s probably doing inventory.”

“Alright, I’ll be outside waiting for you.”

“Sure.”

David leaned on a nearby lamp post and scrolled through his phone while he waits for Stevie. His mind started wandering to his store. _ Yes, his store. _His general store, but also his very specific store. Not to mention his business partner Patrick. His clean cut, professional, extremely polite, and very straight business partner. Actually, he wasn’t really certain about that, he had never asked him come to think of it. David doesn’t want to be intrusive, it would be incorrect of him to ask Patrick of his preferences. 

Before he left the store, David remembered telling Patrick he’ll be going to this blind date. He struggled to say that Twyla set him up with this guy, like he was expecting Patrick to look forlorn or something. Patrick, as if feeling his apprehension, smiled at him curtly, just kept looking at him with kind eyes. David was afraid to admit that this is a casual date, probably just a hookup to be honest. He wanted to convey that this date doesn’t mean anything, that he wasn’t expecting it to be anything serious. A smile crept on Patrick’s face as he said it, the air between them growing thick with a tenderness that couldn’t help but make him breathe slower, deeper, calmer. He remembered Patrick telling him to just enjoy the night, that he can call him anytime if his date turns out to be a dick. David felt his cheeks flushing hot, his stomach tingling with invisible butterflies. His eyes wandered around the store, his hands brushing inconspicuously on his black Neil Barrett sweater. Patrick’s gaze stayed locked on him. The heat of his stare making him fuzzy. He was waiting for him to acknowledge the offer he had just said.

David chanced a look at Patrick. His eyes fixed on him, having some sort of softness to them as he said, _ “David, just call me anytime. I’ll go get you anywhere you are.” _

_ “Anywhere?” _

_ “Anywhere.” _

_ “Okay.” _

_ “Okay.” _

  
  
  


Eleven minutes later, a red sedan turned sharply on the corner, a small plume of smoke spitting behind it. Even in the soft glow of the street-lamps, he could tell there were two people inside the car. Stevie stopped a few feet away from where he stood, a huge smile plastered on her face. From the other side of the car, he saw a pale, strong hand waving from the opened window. He giggled uncontrollably as he walked towards the car and stopped in front of it.

“Eleven minutes. I’m impressed.” David peers to Stevie’s side.

“Well, Patrick here wanted to be the knight and shining armor of the night. Says that there was a damsel in distress that needed his help.”

David burrowed his eyebrows, “I am not in distress.” 

Patrick got out from the car and leaned his body on its hood. “Oh, you’re not in distress? We better get going then Stevie. David is perfectly alright walking twenty five minutes in to the long dark street to the motel.”

“Very funny, Patrick.” David glanced over, the corners of his lips fighting a smile. He raised his eyebrows slightly, turning away before Patrick could catch the smile spreading across his face. But before he can strengthen his resolve to be nonchalant about the situation, David had already glanced back at Patrick and saw him smiling back at him. 

“C’mon, David.” Patrick then proceeded on opening the back door, “Get inside. We still have to catch the Cafe before it closes. I already told Twyla they need to cook some pancakes for Stevie and a french omelette for you.”

“How did you know how I like my omelette?”

“Well.. uhm“ Patrick mumbled as he scratched the back of his neck.

“Just get in the car, David. I don’t want my pancakes cold.” Stevie shouted as she turned on the ignition.

As he slid himself at the back seat of the car, buckling the seat belt on his body, he peaked a look at Patrick on the rear view mirror. It didn’t even surprise him that he was already looking at him. With half a smile, David averted his eyes quickly, face splitting fully into a wide grin before casting his eyes towards the darkened street to his home.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thanks to adelina. gurl, that was a quick beta. I owe you one!


End file.
